


Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart

by icefeathxr



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, DenNed, Flashbulb Memories, M/M, Mature rating for sensitive topic, NedDen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29847903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icefeathxr/pseuds/icefeathxr
Summary: “ Horatio, thou art e'en as just a manAs e'er my conversation coped withal.”- Hamlet; Act III Scene II
Relationships: Denmark & Netherlands (Hetalia), Denmark/Netherlands (Hetalia)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy <3  
> Special thanks to my dear friend Annie who was my first ever beta reader

“Y’know... I’ve been thinking.” The corners of the Danes mouth curled, knowing just what will come out of his lovers mouth.  
“That’s never good.” Jan turned to look at Mathias who was still staring up at the ceiling as though analysing a map or finding constellations.  
“Our house is crooked, have you ever noticed that?”  
“Can’t say I have. You help build it so I can’t say I’m entirely surprised.” For that, Jan received a gentle punch to the arm and a burst of laughter.  
“No I’m being serious! You, of all people on this great blue earth should have noticed! The walls lean to the left. Ever so slightly, but they do.”  
“But I love it. With all of its flaws, like the leaking faucet or the cupboard that never closes all the way. I’ve given up on finding those things.”  
The air in room became suddenly still.  
“How come?”  
“Well... it’s the only house that allows quiet mornings after the rain has soaked through the wood, when the sun pokes its rays through the clouds to cast a shadow in the shape of our lace curtains. It’s the only house that has a great big tree right outside of the widows to our bedroom that lets birds wake us with song every morning. But most importantly, it’s the only house that has you.” Their breathes echoed one another as Jan slowly turned to face his husband who’s eyes were sprinkled with tears.  
“Why would I ever think of walls that lean left when I can think of you?” He wipes the rouge tear from Mathias’s eye and kiss the streak so it doesn’t stain his freckled face. The test of time is what allows the silence to sound like the thousands of ‘I love you’s shared over their years together. From the first time, where Jan was chasing Mathias across the school hallways for taking his glasses and knocked him down outside of the courtyard long after the students have gone home. The sky danced with purples and oranges as the sun was setting and Mathias looks up at Jan, haloed by a heavenly glow- “I think I love you.”  
“Took you long enough.” Ever brave, the Dutchman leans down and kisses Mathias’s face. “I love you too, dumby.”  
Like the time Mathias, as drunk as a skunk, dragged an equally inebriated Jan out of a bar and out into the streets of Copenhagen under a streetlamp while rain bucketed down, leaned him over in his arms, and kissed him so tenderly that even the rain seemingly fell in slow motion to capture the act of love- just like the movies they both loved so much. And after they separated the first breath was like that after a plunge into freezing water and the first words spoken as they looked at each other, bewildered. was “I love you”.  
Like the time when Jan insisted on driving out to middle of nowhere Iceland during the winter holiday. Packed up in the car as the glimmer of remaining polar sun set behind the horizon, just enough to allow Mathias to point out the beautiful features in the land in joy- steaming creeks of geyser water within the snow, peaks of lava rock poking through the slatelike scenery. Jan found the perfect place, just near the coast on a cliff looking over the water. Sitting on the edge of a rock, both layered in wool sweaters, coats, and scarfs so much that they could only see one another’s eyes and red frost tipped noses. They grew silent as they waited believing that the lights would come alive so late in the year, just for them. In the distance, slanking of metal bells were heard as the sheep far away walked around. Just then, over the ocean, the auroras started to blossom, painting themselves over the black night sky. Greens, yellows, purples, and blues swaying across the horizon. Mathias reached over and puts his hand in Jans. Minutes later he gently kissed Mathias’s head and reached into his pocket to find the ring he kept secret this whole time.  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too!”  
Jan opened it with one hand but paused as Mathias spoke.  
“I never saw the sun until I saw you. Meaning that, the sun, in all its rare glory, had no meaning to me until it showed me you. That first day I saw you, the tall, brooding economy teacher grumbling to yourself over a bad cup of coffee my whole world stopped. Struck me even more dumb than I was. I always thought history could teach me how to prepare for anything but you, never you. I could never anticipate you. I knew I had to make you smile, I just didn’t know how.”  
“Well, I’d say you did a pretty good job, all things considered. Look over here.” Smiling, he presented the ring. “Will you marry me?”  
In shock, Mathias fell backwards into the snow, Jan landing on top of him. And in between howls of laughter he shouted ‘yes!’ as Jan slipped the ring on his now, future husbands finger.  
“Took you long enough, dumby.” 

Jans voice echoed out into the hallways, damp, crooked, and unwashed: “I would do anything to bring you back. I would make the world crumble if only I could have you back in my arms.”  
Mathias had died from an unknown illness, snatched so quickly away that Jan didn’t blink until he heard that noise of the flatline. Then silence. Cold, bitter, silence. The hospital staff rushed in, trying to save him- trying to save what little breath he had left in his body that escaped when he said: “Jan, I love you so... very much.” And that was it. The pain in his breath vanished with his soul. A call announcing his time of death, Jan wished they’d put his name under his too. He sat there, on his knees by the bed and screamed.  
“I would put the northern lights in your eyes, just the way I remember them that day. I would pick up the pieces of every cup you dropped and put them back together if it meant you could put my shattered heart back together.”

It was a rainy day, nothing unusually for danish weather. The cemetery plot was lined with people, Mathias’s brothers- all blond, contrasting with the blacks of their suits- waiting to rest their brother into the ground. It felt wrong... It’s all wrong, he was a man of the sea, he stood and watched the sun sink under the sea everyday. Jan hauled the casket on his shoulders and walked with the heaviest weight on his heart. He was the first to throw in dirt and when the clump left his hand, he crumbled to the floor clutching his heart because he knew Mathias would’ve caught him if he was here. The sun peaked over the clouds and shined down. It was wrong. It was all wrong.

Jan searched the ceiling as though it was a map of the heavens, unable to sleep. It’s been a year since Mathias’s death. He noticed the house was crooked. He noticed the cabinets never quite closed all the way- but to him, this house, however crooked it is, held their souls within it. The tree still bloomed in the spring. Jan questioned the audacity of life simply moving forward.

The light will never cast the same way it did but when it graced over the calluses on Jan hands while took ink to page writing out their lives in memoirs and bound books, and just for a moment he could feel Mathias holding his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on twitter! [@icefeathxr](http://www.twitter.com/icefeathxr)


End file.
